I HATE MYSELF!

I kinda figured that might get your attention. I've been wrestling with my weight for 20 years. Does anyone else think that's a little crazy? Yeah, me too. But two weeks ago, the battle finally ended. I learned something about myself. I hate my body. Not for the reason you would imagine, but I did hate my body. It betrayed me. This won't make sense and if you really need it to make sense, ask me about it and I'll share the story with you. But it betrayed me and for 20 years I have been hating my body. Depriving it, overworking it, disregarding it, and just wishing it away. The realization has brought a renewed sense of courage. My husband, bless his wisdom and insight, pointed out to me that God created my body, and that He created it to work the way that it works. Long story incredibly short...I've forgiven my body and we are now friends again. It's amazing how much I have learned from it now that we are on speaking terms again.

So, I lost 50 pounds on the weight watchers program after my girl was born. I kept the weight off for five years. I've gained half of it back and have been able to hold at the current weight. We don't have the finances to do the whole process, but I still have the materials so I'll work the program. If you can do weight watchers it's a good program. The focus is on keeping track of what you eat and how much you eat. Portion control is a huge factor.

~ Track What You Are Consuming on a Daily Basis For a Week
I took a week to keep track of what I ate. I didn't change anything I ate during that week.
I wanted to find out how many points I was eating, since I am maintaining my weight with the current point consumption. This will be important once I reach my goal weight.

~ Take a Tally of What You Ate - Points, Calories, Fat Intake...etc.
Weight watchers uses a point system and so I referred to that. I also use this website. After the week was over, I sat down and totaled all of the point values that I consumed. The points usually were around 40 so I cut that back to 30. I'm smaller so this may be different for everyone. Do what you feel is necessary. If you don't do points, you can track whatever you usually track.

~ Eat the Points I Allotted for Myself
I found out that many days I'm not eating enough. I do martial arts four times a week and had also been walking everyday. I wasn't consuming enough food and my body began to collect food and store it. I stopped the walking and continued to eat the allotted points. I lost 3 pounds this week. I'm also saw my need to continually snack diminish. But it's important to to eat the allotted points.

I'm starting week 2 of this experiment. I'll keep you posted.